Thursday, March 3, 2016

Tips from Parenting Network: Self-reliance, Autonomy and Independence

Hi parents, 

These great tips came from the PRO-grant workshop with Beverly Cathcart-Ross last month. It was a very informative evening and she offered many useful tips to help us become “great parents”. Thank you to all parents who were able to join us.  For anyone interested in borrowing it, the school has a copy of her book, Raising Great Parents

Practical tools that will help you raise a child that says “I am able and I can handle it myself!”

1. Change the way you relate to your family:
We’re a team and I’m its coach.

2. Don’t do for a child what they can do for themselves.
See them as able, and see it as your responsibility to let them become
even more able. Keep letting go by moving responsibility for their lives
over to them.
Commitment: One thing you’ll stop doing for your child this week.

3. Be ok with mistakes.
Children have a learning curve, and will not do things as well as you can.
So be ok with that. They need to feel safe to explore, and to take some risks. (Celebrate mistakes!)

4. Give your child ways to contribute around the home.
Let them experience the good feeling of doing for others, while getting competent!
ACTIVITY: Make a list of ways your children can contribute together.

5. Invest the time necessary to teach them skills.
For a child to rely on themselves they need to go through a learning process.
Four steps of Training:
 Show them
 Do it together
 They show you
 You are now a consultation, should they need you

6. Show respect for a child’s struggle. Let them experience the results of their choices. Best way to learn is through trial and error.
“You’re not feeling good about going to school without your project finished, are you? Well, I’m not willing to write a note and be dishonest with your teacher. It may feel uncomfortable to face your teacher but you’ll handle it.”
Commitment: One natural consequence you’ll let your child experience this week.

7. Ask ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions, instead of solving and managing. 
When they aren’t ‘handling’ the situation well, help get them refocused: “What have you got left to do before we head out the door?”

8. Establish routines with your child
Routines provide a child with a framework and the ability to anticipate.

9. Encourage children to use sources outside of the home.
“Maybe the pet shop owner would have a suggestion. Why don’t you give him a call?”
Commitment: One way you’ll encourage your child this week.

10. Embrace a NEW Attitude: The Attitude of LRB
L = Unconditionally love and accept the child as is.
When someone feels safe and secure in our love for them they have the freedom to explore and grow.
R = Respect the child’s right to make decisions and choices for themselves.
Don’t protect them from the results of their choices. Give them a voice and say in family life.
B= Believe in your child’s ability to handle their choices and to learn from their decisions.
Sprinkle faith around them. “Go ahead you can do it.”
“Take it at your own pace.”

No comments:

Post a Comment